13: The Musical – Review
91 Minutes, Rated PG
Written by Jason Robert Brown, Dan Elish, Robert Horn
Directed by Tamra Davis
Synopsis:
After his parents’ divorce, Evan Goldman moves from NYC to small-town Indiana. As his 13th birthday nears, he must master the complex social circles of his new school and win friends by turning his Bar Mitzvah into the coolest party ever.
I can’t wait to see if Ryan and I talk about this one, lol. A film version of the stage musical, which is right in the wheelhouse of one of us.
But I’m getting better…
Honestly, though, the story here isn’t bad. A kid about to turn 13 but forced to move from New York City to the sticks of Indiana? Be the new kid in school? Find new friends? Not be labeled a loser?
Holy crap; even adults can go through that. Ever change jobs? Yeah, that’s no fun.
But back to the musical.
The numbers here are all pretty upbeat, actually. There’s no a ton of down-feeling music, despite the fact there’s a lot of “down” subjects being sung about.
I find that problematic, though, as I’d like my music to reflect what it’s supposedly about, so in this case, the film feels entirely too happy, overall, and so you never get a sense that anything bad is truly happening.
The cast itself is also unusual, as it doesn’t feel like an organic group of kids in small-town Indiana. Rather, it feels like a casting checklist of diversity (Jewish, Asian, African-American, handicapped, etc…), which wouldn’t be a bad thing, except for the fact the central “love story” (if 13 year-olds can be classified that way) is between the only two African-American main characters, both of whom are basically referred to as “perfect” the entire film, and they spend most of the film broken apart by the jealous Asian girl, who is also the most popular, and upon whom the success of Evan’s party depends.
it feels like someone made it a point to sit down and asked how to make the most-inclusive/least-offensive film they could, and ended up making the least interesting film, instead.
Really, it’s kind of insulting.
Sure, Evan’s Bar Mitzvah goes spectacularly, as if it could end up any other way, but by then, who cares?
Oh, and his douchy dad admits his failings as a father and his parents become amicable.
Shocking.
Honestly, I would have preferred to sit through Better Nate Than Ever again. Damned near everything went wrong for that poor kid.
13: The Musical will show exclusively on Netflix beginning August 12 and stars Debra Messing, Rhea Perlman, Josh Peck, Peter Hermann, Eli Golden, Gabriella Uhl, JD McCrary, Frankie McNellis, Lindsey Blackwell, Jonathan Lengel, Ramon Reed, Nolen Dubuc, Luke Islam, Shechinah Mpumlwana, Kayleigh Cerezo, Willow Moss, Liam Wignall, and Khiyla Aynne.
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