The Little Mermaid (2023) – Review
135 Minutes, Rated PG
Written by David Magee and Ron Clements
Directed by Rob Marshall

**NOTE: You can read Mark’s review below, read Ryan’s review HERE, then listen or watch as they discuss the film in more depth below. Remember, though, you can listen to all our discussions of this and every other movie directly over on ACAST.**


The Little Mermaid - Review
The Little Mermaid (Disney)

 

Synopsis:

A young mermaid makes a deal with a sea witch to trade her beautiful voice for human legs so she can discover the world above water and impress a prince.

 


Dear Disney,

Stop.

Just. Stop.

These live-action remakes of your classic animated features aren’t working anymore. They’re stale renderings that serve only to remind us of how incredible a studio you used to be. (See 2022’s Pinocchio and the recent Peter Pan & Wendy)

Animation exists to remind us how fantastic real life cannot ever be, but by turning them into that real life, you inevitably dilute the nature of what you’ve done before. This is made exceptionally glaring when you attempt to do what amounts to a shot-for-shot remake while altering fundamental aspects of the narrative underpinnings.

And, No, the race of Ariel is not a fundamental NARRATIVE underpinning.

By removing the romantic aspect of Ariel’s desire to be “part of that world,” you reduce (or eliminate) the importance of the need for true love’s kiss to the character. You’ve made it a side-quest, and one which you strip her memory of–and hence actual desire for–at that.

And let’s not get even get into the all-too-publicized “socio-political” changes you’ve made to the damned thing. They add nothing to the narrative, and detract from it in many ways.

You’ve CGIed the life out of Sebastian and Flounder. You’ve composited an underwater realm that reeks of the nineties, not the era in which (though I hate them) the Avatar movies exist.

You’ve directed the soul out of the original tunes, rendering even “Under the Sea” flatter than Flounder. You’ve added songs that (despite Lin-Manuel Miranda’s talent) feel shoehorned into the film, thematically, and frankly aren’t that good on top of it.

You’ve actually (and you can hear more of this in our discussion of the film, BTW) gone ahead and turned something that wasn’t problematic in the original version (despite what people say) and made it incredibly problematic here.

<sarc> Good job! </sarc>

And then you ruin it all further by giving us such a saccharine-sweet, perfect “feel-good” ending that diabetics will need an unexpected insulin dose.

And you know what the really sad part of this whole experience is? You found a young actress who can actually sing to play Ariel. You turned Melissa McCarthy into a really convincing villain as Ursula. Javier Bardem is a pretty imposing King Triton, too.

But all for nought.

Sincerely,

This guy.

The Little Mermaid hits theaters on Friday, May 26 and stars Halle Bailey, Jonah Hauer-King, Melissa McCarthy, Javier Bardem, and features the voices of Awkwafina, Daveed Diggs, and Jabob Trembley.

And remember, if the BEST thing you can say about a movie is that it’s “visually stunning,” then they’ve done something wrong.

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