The Apprentice

Review by Mark Woodring

Another election season, another high-profile bit of cinema designed to poke at a candidate.

I love politics, but I hate elections. They absolutely bring out the worst in people…

…and the worst people.

**NOTE: this post may be updated with audio once we actually have the chance to talk about it. Until then, you can read Mark’s review below. Remember, though, you can listen to all our discussions of this and every other movie directly over on ACAST. Stay tuned.**

The Apprentice - Review
The Apprentice

120 Minutes, Rated R
Written by Gabriel Sherman
Directed by Ali Abbasi

Synopsis:

A young Donald Trump, eager to make his name as a hungry scion of a wealthy family in 1970s New York, comes under the spell of Roy Cohn, the cutthroat attorney who would help create the Donald Trump we know today. Cohn sees in Trump the perfect protégé—someone with raw ambition, a hunger for success, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to win.

But I digress.

As I said on the platform-formerly-known-as-Twitter:

“After all the hype, I found “The Apprentice” movie completely underwhelming.
Boring, even.
I thought i was going to be “shocked,” but it plays like a cheap, made-for-tv movie.
#SebastianStan makes a good #DonaldTrump, but the film itself is just… there.”

The made-for-TV crack isn’t for fun, either. It’s real. This feels like a mid-90s biopic designed to drum up PR for Trump instead of what I can only assume Iranian-born director Ali Abassi intended for this one: to undermine Donald Trump’s run for the White House.

But it’s not even very good at it.

The whole thing actually plays like a dime-store Wall Street, except Michael Douglas’ Gordon Gecko had much more style than The Apprentice‘s Trump.

Other than that, there is nothing in The Apprentice that isn’t generally known. His relationship with Roy Cohn? Known.

The various lawsuits against him and his father during his early career? Known.

His various real estate moves in New York City and Atlantic City? Known.

And all of them very well documented.

I honestly have no idea who this movie is for, who it’s trying to impress or shock. I really don’t.

What’s more amazing is that the Trump campaign apparently issued a cease-and-desist type letter to the filmmaker. Honestly, this film should just slide on by in the river of cinematic mediocrity.

It’s just…there.

I’d never let a film influence my vote, but this one — despite Sebastian Stan’s pretty impressive turn as “the Don” — has almost nothing going in its favor except for its release date and the furor surrounding its subject.

Skip it.

As biopics go, it’s unremarkable. As political shrapnel, it’s ineffective. As a film, it’s simply… simple.

Want to watch a more interesting and revealing (though slightly more fictionalized) political expose? Watch 1998’s Primary Colors.

That’s a movie that will make you sit up and take notice with it’s behind the scenes political (and personal) chicanery.

The Apprentice hits theaters October 11 and stars Sebastian Stan, Jeremy Strong, Maria Bakalova, Martin Donovan.

And remember, if the BEST thing you can say about a movie is that it’s “visually stunning,” then they’ve done something wrong.

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